Motherhood is something I hesitate on writing about. The reason I hold back on the subject is because motherhood is hard, and we are all doing our best during these times. I never want to be the mom telling you how to do things, or the know it all. Being a mom is by far the most humbling experience of my life. It’s humbling because right when you think you have it all together there is always a plot twist. Life with children is definitely unpredictable but, 2020 has taken it to another level. Raising a child in the middle of a Pandemic has been quite the challenge. As we get closer to the end of 2020, I want to tell you about my year as a mother. Let me share the obstacles I faced and how I've gotten through them. I felt it was important to share since we are all going through this together. Here are a few things I am currently doing to organize my time between work and Oliver. I want to share how I'm being a wife and carrying on with all the household responsibilities while staying healthy, and safe. I hope this is all at least relatable, if not helpful.
Day in the Life. #oliverbennyolmos
Organize your time by creating a Schedule -
Easier said than done I know. I try to make a list with a schedule and I time my every move. I wake up an hour earlier than Oliver to shower and be out on time to get him up. Oliver is now six, so I have taught him how to wash his face, and brush his teeth. By the time he is done I have his breakfast on his desk with his outfit for the day right next to him. He get's dressed on his own and I brush his hair. I know he can easily log on with his jammies, but I wanted to take the time to teach him he needs to look presentable at school. I believe that habits create a person, so there's that. At The end of the day my husband takes over with Oliver he usually helps him with homework, takes him on a bike ride and puts him in the shower. When I get home I too try to shower first thing, cause "Covid." Then I look through Oliver’s homework and have dinner with my husband, while we catch up on some Netflix. Oliver has been super needy and asks for me to put him to bed while I lay next to him. He also expects me to play some calming sound and put on a lavender in the diffuser. I know he’s high maintenance, but I enjoy that time of winding down together and end the day so I go along.
How to Create a schedule -
His school is open for in- person learning, with a distance learning option for families who preferred it. We decided on the distance learning option, that is just what I felt more comfortable with at this time. I was just grateful we had both options since every family is dealing with this situation differently. With that said I wanted to still give Oliver a routine at home, just as if he was going to traditional school. I then created a schedule for Oliver to follow throughout the day. I write it on his white board so its easy to adjust during the week. I’m flexible with him however, I want him to learn how to manage his time. When I began to write it out on the board I noticed he became less stressed out, and he tackled so much more during the day. I try to keep myself fun and with a positive attitude. I have to remind myself that Oliver’s childhood is a lot different than mine. Being patient, and understanding is really key. The IPad is my daily challenge with him. I try to not restrict it since he does school with it, and I don’t want him to think it’s a bad thing. I do however think its important to keep him busy with other activities. Going back to the schedule during the day is very helpful. I don’t have to say get off the iPad, I just ask “what’s next on your schedule?” He then gets right back to following up with his day.
Try to Find a Support System-
I can’t say I have it all figured out on my own. My support system consists of my husband, Mother, and family who I know I can always count on. You know that saying it takes a village? It really does! I am lucky enough to have people I trust by my side while I go to work. I do only have one child, and I know it's a lot easier and it doesn’t compare to having two or three kids. Finding people you trust is very important, especially during these times. Oliver’s Zoom school begins at around 11:30 a.m. I sometimes have him log in at our home, then on his first break I log him off and drive him to my mom's. When he arrives to Grandma’s he logs back into class and continues. I then go to work and he stays there and plays with his cousins until my husband picks him up at around 3 pm. Oliver then comes home, does his reading and begins his homework. We then complete his homework together when I get home. I try to get my days off during the week so I don’t have to do all the back in forth all the time. I prefer getting my days off during the week because that also allows me to focus on organizing my home. That just means I have to work every weekend, which I'm okay with.
Be nice to yourself-
If you are working full time , part time or staying home this time is equally stressful on all of us. It's important we don’t forget to take a moment to breathe. I tend to be hard on myself and stress out over little things, but I’ve trained myself to snap out of it. When I’m feeling overwhelmed I take a step back and try to see what is overwhelming me? I then try to see if it’s real, and if I can do something different to change it. When I can’t change the situation at the moment, I move on to the next task. Even with work, I’m sometimes running late with everything going on. I try not to obsess over it. If I’m having a rough day I’ll take a longer lunch to meet up with friends. I treat myself throughout the day like with a lavender Chai and a cookie, or get myself a nice candle to light up at the end of the night. When I treat myself with those small details It helps me keep my sanity. I do retail and have to wear a mask most of my day. I have now gotten used to it, and I’m super cautious with keeping my distance. The precautions of staying safe can also take a toll on me, but I remind myself that I am doing my part, and that it’s worth it for everybody's sake.
One thing I can say is that I have definitely evolved this year. Evolution and growth has been the silver lining. I love being a mom but, I never in my lifetime imagined being a parent under these circumstances. The best advice that I have given myself during this time is, that it’s okay. We are all in it together, and we are not the only ones struggling. Acknowledging that I’m not alone reminds me to be easier and kinder to myself and others. Kindness and positivity are the key to it all. One thing I’ve learned being a parent is that children are very observant and feed off your energy and organization. Organize and give them the energy you want to receive, and everything will fall into place even in the most difficult of times.
Love,
Cyndi
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